Woke up this morning feeling very weird and worried.

Yesterday wasn't a bad day, for my first day of unemployment. I woke up late, refreshing though, took the dog out to the park for some exercise, played some videogames.

I don't know what to do with myself today. I'm afraid of getting too comfortable. I'm afraid of waiting too long and then it will be "too late" and suddenly I'll be broke and homeless and friendless. I want to able to enjoy this week, as if I was on vacation, but instead I feel like I'm preparing for a nuclear war.

I hate all the shit that comes with looking for a job. I hate doing resumes, I hate the stomach-twisting moments before and during interviews, I hate meeting the interviewer and getting grilled about what I know and don't know. I hate the waiting. I hate all the uncertainty that comes with looking for a new job: will I like the company; will my co-workers like me; will I end up looking for another job in a couple of months?

I wish that I could stay in the moment and not worry about where I'm going to be a year from now or even next week. I also wish that I knew that everything will turn out OK.