Fans of the TV show House got a pretty big shock this week (Monday, 6 April was when the episode aired). If you haven't still seen the episode, you have no business reading blogs right now.
So Dr. Kutner committed suicide. And judging by comments on popular web sites, people are pissed. "Kutner's suicide came out of nowhere" seems to be a common complaint. It seems like a cheap ploy by the writers.
I can respect that opinion. It does seem like stunt, to get viewership and make things happen when the writers don't know what else to do with a plot or a character.
But I was actually moved by the episode. It felt real to me: seeing the shock of Foreman and Thirteen finding his body, the way she recoiled from him when she realized she was too late to save him. I was stunned. I felt blindsided.
Suicide is like that. Sometimes it does come out of nowhere. Sometimes it does seem out of character, because, lord knows, depressed people can be really good about hiding their pain. They are very good at hiding who they really are as well. They can come off as generally likable, but aloof or shy. That was Kutner: a generally nice guy who was in always in the background, the guy you took for granted.
Strangely, one of the things I loved about the episode was one of things people hated the most; House's reaction to Kutner's death. He tried to make sense of it. He went through denial, preferring to believe Kutner was murdered. Then, worst of all, his angry, awful blaming of Kutner's parents for their son's suicide. I can remember a lot of the horrible things I thought and said when my mother died, things that I still feel ashamed of. I felt a lot of sympathy and embarrassment for House then, more than I have all season, as well as a good helping of thinking he was a total asshole.
(Yes, I am fully aware that I am projecting my feelings onto a character.)
I think it was something of a brave move to do this to a character. The writers could have simply had Kutner quit and move away, sure, and everything would have continued on as it had. But now, the characters, House included, will have to face that they never really knew him and they will never know why he did it.
I'm interested in seeing where the writers take this and what happens next. I just hope they don't fuck this up.
I've never personally experienced the close-person suicide thing, but I know about the trying to make sense of things once they've exploded all over the landscape, and regretting things you've thought or said. I haven't seen any but a bit of this ep, but I think I may see if my parents recorded it and give it a good viewing.
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