27 April 2009

Had a dream that my friends Terry and Lisa were having a second wedding. They lived in a huge Victorian house with lots of rooms, some of them strange and whimsical. They set up a theater-in-the-round using risers in their living room and dressed in a pseudo-medieval style. All of their friends (of which hundreds of them attended) were invited to perform skits, songs, etc. Someone even used puppets.

Although we were having a great time there was some drama. In the dream, Lisa had three sisters and four half-sisters (this is not the case in real life). The half-sisters were jealous of Lisa and Lisa was angry at them because they took advantage of her. Also, a mutual friend of ours was banned from the wedding (I won't say who because I don't want to hurt any feelings); apparently I had gotten into a very bad fight with this person and banned them from my life(!). To my surprise, Terry and Lisa decided not to invite them either. Suddenly this person was stalking around, trying to sneak into what was becoming the wedding party of the century, but the bouncers at the door (!) saw they didn't have an invitation and wouldn't them in.

A Death in the House

Fans of the TV show House got a pretty big shock this week (Monday, 6 April was when the episode aired). If you haven't still seen the episode, you have no business reading blogs right now.

So Dr. Kutner committed suicide. And judging by comments on popular web sites, people are pissed. "Kutner's suicide came out of nowhere" seems to be a common complaint. It seems like a cheap ploy by the writers.

I can respect that opinion. It does seem like stunt, to get viewership and make things happen when the writers don't know what else to do with a plot or a character.

But I was actually moved by the episode. It felt real to me: seeing the shock of Foreman and Thirteen finding his body, the way she recoiled from him when she realized she was too late to save him. I was stunned. I felt blindsided.

Suicide is like that. Sometimes it does come out of nowhere. Sometimes it does seem out of character, because, lord knows, depressed people can be really good about hiding their pain. They are very good at hiding who they really are as well. They can come off as generally likable, but aloof or shy. That was Kutner: a generally nice guy who was in always in the background, the guy you took for granted.

Strangely, one of the things I loved about the episode was one of things people hated the most; House's reaction to Kutner's death. He tried to make sense of it. He went through denial, preferring to believe Kutner was murdered. Then, worst of all, his angry, awful blaming of Kutner's parents for their son's suicide. I can remember a lot of the horrible things I thought and said when my mother died, things that I still feel ashamed of. I felt a lot of sympathy and embarrassment for House then, more than I have all season, as well as a good helping of thinking he was a total asshole.

(Yes, I am fully aware that I am projecting my feelings onto a character.)

I think it was something of a brave move to do this to a character. The writers could have simply had Kutner quit and move away, sure, and everything would have continued on as it had. But now, the characters, House included, will have to face that they never really knew him and they will never know why he did it.

I'm interested in seeing where the writers take this and what happens next. I just hope they don't fuck this up.

Totally in love...

I only remember a part of this dream. In it, I was myself, but I was also the Green Hornet. I wore a dark suit with a green mask and bowler. My Kato I think was played by Chow Yun Fat, though it was difficult to tell because he wore a black mask. I remembering kissing him and it was so thrilling, I woke up in love, as if it actually had happened.

listening to "Dirty Business - The Dresden Dolls" on Blip

Sometimes I get this song in my head at inappropriate times

Another grand experiment...

This January, I am going to try to live without cable.

I'm not really an idle TV watcher. That is, I don't really flip through channels until I find something to watch. I have a few shows that I absolutely adore (Lost, anyone?) and those I record with the DVR unit my cable company provides and watch at my leisure.

A couple of months back, I realized my cable bill was shockingly high. A promotional deal I had with company had ended, so I called the customer service line. I canceled the premium channels and the helpful agent found other ways to reduce my bill; she put me on another promotional rate and even removed an additional monthly charge (if you haven't tried doing this, you really should. Most cable companies will find ways to reduce your bill to keep you as a customer). But even then, my monthly cable bill is just under $100, $40 of which is my Internet access.

Do I really need to pay for cable TV? I know lots of people who don't have cable television any more. They download their favorite shows from Amazon or iTunes or watch them for free on the channel's web site or wait until it comes out on DVD and get it from Netflix.

With so many other ways to get these shows, I decided to try out alternate viewing options for quality and ease of use. Granted, I don't have a swanky home theatre set-up. I have an XBox 360, an aging Toshiba Satellite lappy, an older Magnavox TV (24" or so, one of those heavy tube monsters) and of course, a cable modem with a wireless network. If I can get a decent picture and viewing experience with this, then the experiment will be a resounding success!

My Christmas Message

In case I missed anybody (I hope not), I am posting my Christmas greeting here.

I don't particularly like "the holidays." Actually, I pretty much loathe them. I can't tell you how much this time of year fills me with irritation, though that doesn't stop me from trying to explain the depth of my dislike. As I wake up each morning to NPR, the news this Christmas is especially gloomy. Talk in the elevator is about layoffs, with whispers of "how awful! and right before Christmas." As if any time of year is good to lose your job. So why do I feel so hopeful when everyone else is so anxious? Maybe because I still see people raising and giving money to people who need it (Cliff, that moustache looks fantastic; the class room who got the cameras should take a picture of it). Or that people are still following their dreams, economy be damned (I'll be in to pick up my comics soon, Terry, and Jeff, I really need a massage). People are still writing, creating art, making music, saving the environment and doing what they do best, just being good folks and good friends. I am writing to let you know I am your number one fan. (In a good, not-a-stalker-way.) Keep doing the magic that you do. You are making the world a better place and that gives me a lot of hope. On a less sappy note, I have made a "mixtape" of my favorite Christmas songs for your enjoyment (may not be suitable for work or small children or small, working children): XXX-Mas (a christmas mix for the grinch) Merry Christmas
Power to the People!	Peace and Love, Betsy (and Jack)	"Yo."

The Best Dream....

Had this amazing dream this morning. In it was a man I didn't recognize: he was white and well-built, with a shaved head and wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. Although several of my friends fit that description, I didn't recognize his face, though I could see it clearly. The dream started in a terrifying way - he was struck in the head with some sort of alien object. I was horrified to see the ruin of his skull, all the blood.

But, he didn't die. The wound healed itself, slowly, until you couldn't see where it had been. He woke up, and he was stronger than before. The object had merged with him, making him into a sort of superhero. His personality had changed somewhat, too. He was distant, though he still seemed to have his memories and recognized his friends.

Another object had struck another man, but it had completely taken him over and made him into a silvery metal being, somewhat like the Silver Surfer, but more like a tall and very strong robot. Some evil men were forcing the two to fight. I recognized that the silvery one was very powerful and would likely kill my friend. That's when I realized I was in love with him and he loved me, too. I hugged him and being near him was intoxicating. One of the men gave me weapons I was supposed to put on his hands and fingers, but they looked useless and flimsy. I embraced him again and I realized I was terrified to let him go into the arena.

I've had lots of "lovey" dreams and even a lot of sex dreams, but I woke up feeling so totally in love with this character that I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I woke up feeling good.