Swimming in the Land of Dreams

I don't have many recurring dreams, but this one has been rerunning a lot lately:

I am on a beach in Florida (As a kid, my family used to drive to Florida just after Christmas for our vacation. I haven't been to Florida, though, since I was about 12 or 13). The skies are usually overcast, but the water is mostly calm and warm. Sometimes, I just go swimming in the ocean. Other times, I am swimming towards a small island.

The island is not much bigger than a sandbar, but it has a few palm trees and a couple of rocky outcroppings. It feels very familiar, like some place I have visited many times, even maybe played on as a child (I have no actual memory of such a place). Though I am not a strong swimmer in real life, in the dream it is very easy for me to swim in the ocean (whether or not I am swimming to island in the dream's storyline). When I get to the island, I feel like there is something important about it that I can't remember. When I wake up, I can remember the island so vividly, though, that I can draw a map of it, including the locations of trees and rocks.

Last night, I had a variation on the swimming dream. I am wearing a cute, 1950s-ish one-piece swimsuit and at an indoor pool where there are many people swimming. One of them is a guy I have a horrible crush on and I want to go into the pool, but I am intimidated by all the people around. He sees me and tries to get me to dive in, but I am too afraid of the water (this dream has rather transparent imagery, no?).

27 April 2009

Had a dream that my friends Terry and Lisa were having a second wedding. They lived in a huge Victorian house with lots of rooms, some of them strange and whimsical. They set up a theater-in-the-round using risers in their living room and dressed in a pseudo-medieval style. All of their friends (of which hundreds of them attended) were invited to perform skits, songs, etc. Someone even used puppets.

Although we were having a great time there was some drama. In the dream, Lisa had three sisters and four half-sisters (this is not the case in real life). The half-sisters were jealous of Lisa and Lisa was angry at them because they took advantage of her. Also, a mutual friend of ours was banned from the wedding (I won't say who because I don't want to hurt any feelings); apparently I had gotten into a very bad fight with this person and banned them from my life(!). To my surprise, Terry and Lisa decided not to invite them either. Suddenly this person was stalking around, trying to sneak into what was becoming the wedding party of the century, but the bouncers at the door (!) saw they didn't have an invitation and wouldn't them in.

Totally in love...

I only remember a part of this dream. In it, I was myself, but I was also the Green Hornet. I wore a dark suit with a green mask and bowler. My Kato I think was played by Chow Yun Fat, though it was difficult to tell because he wore a black mask. I remembering kissing him and it was so thrilling, I woke up in love, as if it actually had happened.

The Best Dream....

Had this amazing dream this morning. In it was a man I didn't recognize: he was white and well-built, with a shaved head and wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. Although several of my friends fit that description, I didn't recognize his face, though I could see it clearly. The dream started in a terrifying way - he was struck in the head with some sort of alien object. I was horrified to see the ruin of his skull, all the blood.

But, he didn't die. The wound healed itself, slowly, until you couldn't see where it had been. He woke up, and he was stronger than before. The object had merged with him, making him into a sort of superhero. His personality had changed somewhat, too. He was distant, though he still seemed to have his memories and recognized his friends.

Another object had struck another man, but it had completely taken him over and made him into a silvery metal being, somewhat like the Silver Surfer, but more like a tall and very strong robot. Some evil men were forcing the two to fight. I recognized that the silvery one was very powerful and would likely kill my friend. That's when I realized I was in love with him and he loved me, too. I hugged him and being near him was intoxicating. One of the men gave me weapons I was supposed to put on his hands and fingers, but they looked useless and flimsy. I embraced him again and I realized I was terrified to let him go into the arena.

I've had lots of "lovey" dreams and even a lot of sex dreams, but I woke up feeling so totally in love with this character that I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. I woke up feeling good.

Dream 12

Had a terrifying dream. It started innocently enough: I was in a large comic book store, where Neil Gaiman was putting in an appearance. He was acting as a "guest clerk," ringing up customers and giving recommendations. I remember chatting with him and have a friendly conversation.

I remember leaving the store and being on the vague, twisty streets that my subconscious creates for my dream city. I walked for a bit, and something else happened, but the dream events that happened afterwards made me forget.

The dream suddenly turned nasty. The location switched to the basement of the house where i grew up, a dark, damp place that smelled of mildew. A male friend of mine was there and came on to me. I was horrified and drew back. This only made him angry; the more I backed away from him and refused his advances, the more persistent, mad and violent he became. I truly feared in the dream that he would rape me, something so out of character for this person in real life that it shook me. Before my subconscious could take me to that horrible place, I woke up. I felt nauseated, as if the encounter had actually happened.

Dream Fragment?

Last night, I dreamed about meeting a comic book writer. I think maybe it was Frank Miller? I think I was at a comic book convention. I have no memory of anything else.

Dream 11

This was a very sad dream. In it, I caught my sister in bed with my ex-boyfriend. I was crushed, completely betrayed by both of them. I screamed at him, "How could you? She's married!" He tried to tell me that I couldn't be upset, because I had told him he could date other people. Meanwhile, my sister simply grinned evilly at me. I was so angered by this that I tried to physically hurt her. I wrung her neck, tried hitting her, but nothing stopped her from smiling and laughing at me. A conscious part of me knew I didn't want to hurt her, that I love her and that she would never do something like this, which made the dream all the more disturbing.

Dream 10

In this dream, I was in a casino. I placed several bets at the roulette wheel, being careful to be conservative with my chips; I think I was cheating or maybe someone was plotting to take my winnings, because several people were watching me. When I had won several times, I took my chips and went to a blackjack table. Again, I was very conservative with my bets, as I was conscious that if I won too much or too conspicuously, my winnings would be taken from me.

Dream 9

I dreamed that I had a stalker. In the dream, the stalker was "played" by a famous actor, who showered me with gifts: clothes, flowers, etc. I became afraid of him, but finally worked up the nerve to tell him to go away. He became enraged and tried to get into my apartment. I was about to take a shower and so was naked (of course! isn't that how it always works in these dreams?). I had to run around locking doors and windows. He found every potential escape route and pounded and screamed at me to let him in. Finally, I ran to my bathroom, locked the door and sat with my back against it in case he got in.

When he left, I grabbed a few things and immediately looked for a new apartment. I signed a lease for the first one I found. When I returned to my old apartment, the door was open and I could that my apartment had been ransacked. All my furniture and clothes had been broken or shredded.

Three Dreams

In the first dream, I was recording an album of U2 songs. I was interviewed by reporters from music magazines about it: why did I want to do this, what was the point, etc.

In the second dream, my family owned a film studio and I had proposed an idea for a film, a comedy that takes place in 19th century England. At first everyone was enthusiastic about the idea. In fact, I was star in it with Robert Downey Jr. as my leading man. We even seemed to have some sort of relationship (what is wrong with my brain?). Then, my sister R. proposed a different idea for a movie and everyone decided that one was better. When I protested, RDJ told me that my idea was stupid anyway and grew very cold towards me. I was crushed.

In the third dream, I was in the cast of a Star Trek movie or TV series. I played some sort of alien woman from a semi-primitive culture who had a relationship with a Starfleet officer played by...Keanu Reeves (again, what is wrong with my brain?). In the storyline, there were actually two officers, perhaps from different timelines caused by time travel. One of the officers had never met me, the other was my lover(!). Part of the story involved some kind mass battle against an unknown enemy.

After the filming wrapped, my family had a party in some kind of subdivision with neat lawns and identical little houses. Most of my family had never been there, and I kept telling them to find the pink house with white awnings. I think it was supposed to be my sister C.'s house. The rooms were maze-like and I got the impression that several people besides my sister lived there; it was as if she has three or four roommates at least. I remember lots of rooms with hardwood floor and white walls, lots of sunlight streaming through windows. We were dressed-up, but the clothes seemed too formal or too old - we were wearing pale pink suits, like something you'd find on an old lady.

Dream 8

In the dream, I was on some sort of massive space ship or space station with bright white walls. I knew there was something wrong on board and so I was creating a sort of personal space ship out of space suits to escape. The suits contained some sort of rudimentary AI and I could almost communicate with them. By connecting and molding the suits together, I could create a single suit that would allow me to survive in outer space and move around. I could even fly around in the ship/station while wearing my suit and it was very light, as if filled with air. This was a pleasant experience at first, until I discovered what I was fleeing from: they were large hulking shapes, either robots or men in bulky suits like my own, except they were a dull orange metal and my suit was a soft white fabric. They chased me and at first I was able to fly away from them, but as they got closer, the suit's ability to fly got weaker. Soon I was only able to take bounding leaps, like the astronauts on the moon, while my enemies were so close they could almost touch me. I was so filled with panic that I woke myself up.

Dream 7

In this dream, I was still living in the house I grew up in. My mother was alive and doing things around the house - maybe the laundry. I went out to get the mail and discovered something like looked like a legal notice or a ticket. It was a warning about an alarm clock that our neighbors had been complaining about for being too annoying or loud. It listed several suggestions for better alarms. I got the feeling it was my alarm clock that was causing the problems. I looked everywhere on the ticket, but didn't see a fine. Knowing my mother would get angry and yell at me, I decided to hide it in my closet. It was very dusty in there and I had crawl back behind old prom and bridesmaids dresses to find a good spot to hide it.

Dream 7

In this dream, I was still living in the house I grew up in. My mother was alive and doing things around the house - maybe the laundry. I went out to get the mail and discovered something like looked like a legal notice or a ticket. It was a warning about an alarm clock that our neighbors had been complaining about for being too annoying or loud. It listed several suggestions for better alarms. I got the feeling it was my alarm clock that was causing the problems. I looked everywhere on the ticket, but didn't see a fine. Knowing my mother would get angry and yell at me, I decided to hide it in my closet. It was very dusty in there and I had crawl back behind old prom and bridesmaids dresses to find a good spot to hide it.

Dream 6

In the dream, I was at a party in a large house. It was very "California:" white walls, high ceilings, glass walls that overlooked a large city (Los Angeles?). It was night. People were drinking or dancing or drinking and dancing. In one room, a television show was being taped. It reminded me of Wayne's World with higher production values. For some reason, there were cavemen involved. I wandered onto the set and realized one of the stars was Jason Mewes, who kept coming onto me. I was very puzzled by this, as I couldn't imagine him being interested in me, and I kept wondering if he was drunk or making fun of me.

Dream Fragments 1

First Fragment: My sister M. was telling J. (her friend), R. (our sister) and me about a band that she discovered from our sister, D., when D. was in college. D. had seen them one night and drunkenly told M. about them. M. was skeptical, but when she heard their album, she fell in love. She played an old cassette on the stereo she had as teenager: an "all-in-one" contraption that had a turntable, cassette player, 8-track player and radio. The band sounded sort of like the Flaming Lips.

Second Fragment: I was in a romantic comedy that was about a love triangle. One of the men in the movie was Gary Numan, of all people.

Dream 5

In the dream, I was getting married. Or rather, I was preparing to get married. I had no idea who the groom was, as he was not in the dream. I was shopping for wedding clothes and instead of a traditional white dress, I picked out a pale blue satin dress with spaghetti straps. In this dream, I was thin, probably my ideal weight and I was surprised at how pretty I looked and felt. In the dream, I was shopping in an underground, almost cavernous shopping mall that was labyrinthine and filled with hundreds of shops. I visited a shop where my sister C.worked (only in the dream, not in real life) and she helped me pick out accessories, like chunky jewelry, to wear with my dress.

Dream 4

In this dream, there were hundreds of stray kittens and puppies on the sidewalk outside of a shop. All of them were very small, just old enough to be away from their mothers, and very cute. I picked up a black and white fluffy kitten, then a bulldog puppy, then another puppy of a breed I didn't recognize. But every time I tried to bring one inside the shop, my friend T. would tell me to take it back outside. He explained that no matter how cute they looked, they were diseased and full of dangerous parasites. The animals looked healthy to me, but he swore that I would get sick from them or that they would become dangerous and/or sick (rabid?). Each time I would reluctantly take the animal outside and bring in a new one, but he always said the same thing.

Dream 3

In this dream, there was some sort of huge parade. I kept getting lost in an enormous crowd. I had the sense that I was with people I knew (friends, family), but I kept losing sight of them.

In the dream I had a boyfriend, but he was no one I really knew or rather, he may have been an amalgam of bits and pieces of several different people. The parade ended at a huge mansion that I suppose was something like the Playboy Mansion. Several rooms were set up with long tables set with white table cloths and fine china, silverware. Here was a fancy dinner party, but while this was going on, there was also entertainment: several very beautiful young women either skimpily dressed or naked and dancing erotically. All of the men were transfixed, including my dream boyfriend.

I seemed to be the only "ordinary" woman around and I became very depressed. I decided I was going to kill myself. I found a bathroom and decided how I was going to do it. I decided against cutting myself and tried to figure out how many pills I would need to take in order to do it right.

(By the way, I am NOT suicidal at all in the waking world, so I found this dream extremely disturbing.)

I went up to the roof, where I encountered a blond woman, one of the "bunnies" I suppose. She seemed actually concerned about me. I think she found my boyfriend, because in the next part of the dream he was with me in a kitchen and kissing me. It felt like to me he was only doing this out of duty, not because he was actually worried about me or even in love with me.

Dream 2

The dream took place in my grade school auditorium. The seats had that musty smell I remembered from when I was a kid and the cinder block walls were painted institutional pale blue. However, in the dream, the auditorium was twice as large and also had a balcony.

I was in a musical. All of the actors were adults playing superheroes: Superman, the Hulk, Aquaman, etc. I was playing a superhero called Quasar (I am not aware of such a character) and dressed in a white and silver costume. Even though many superheroes have the ability to fly, I was the only character that did in the play. I was rigged in a harness and could fly out over the audience and even into the balcony.

Part of the musical required the superheroes to pair up into superhero teams. I ran around frantically looking for a partner, but everyone I asked had already paired up into odd pairing like the Hulk with Superman. Eventually I decided to go solo and felt a lot like the kid who gets picked last when making teams in gym class (which I was). Being able to fly around the theatre made up for that.

Shia LaBeouf played one of the other superheroes, but I'm not sure which one. I didn't recognize any of the other actors, but then again they were in make-up and masks.

Dream 1

In this dream, part of my feet fell off. Half of my right foot came clean off, while on my left it was mostly my toes. There was no blood or pain. My mother sewed my right foot back together and again, I felt no pain, but I could feel the thread pulling my skin. My father chased down the toes of my left foot, which seemed to have disintegrated into parts that looked more like plastic machine bits than flesh bone and rolled under the radiator. He put those back together. Both of them seemed very worried about my parts falling off, but I was not. I was just glad they were there to put me back together.

(FYI - my mother has been dead since 1988.)

After that I went out and walked down a busy urban street. I have no idea where I was. I encountered a group of Latinas, all of them no older than teenagers, surrounding a girl of about nine. They were explaining that she had lost two of her teeth and had to take her to the dentist. She had lost teeth before and had false ones made. The girl was very beautiful, with long wavy hair tied into a loose ponytail. I remember her clothes vividly - a white turtleneck covered with tiny red cherries and a red jacket. They sent her into a nearby restroom and I went in as well. Suddenly, one of my teeth was also loose and something crumbled out. I showed this to the girl so that she would not be afraid about her own teeth. But, suddenly my mouth was filled with more teeth bits. Were all of my teeth disintegrating? I pulled out some of the bits and saw they looked more like pink quartz. My mouth was full of them. I ran to the sink and washed out several mouthfuls of pink rocks. When I got them all out, I looked at my teeth in the mirror. They were somewhat worn, but otherwise intact.

The dream switches and I am lying on a mattress with a friend. It is not sexual; we are clothed and talking, but he is falling asleep. I show him my right foot and he is alarmed by the stitches. The foot is almost healed, though I walk with a limp. As he falls asleep, I tell him about my childhood as an ancient Roman. I tell him about about Roman life, about the streets of the city where I lived (which later became Paris), about merchants and artisans and slaves and I use Latin words to describe these things. I tell him that I have no memory of how I got here; that I remember living two thousand years ago and I remember living now, but the years in between a gray fog. What's more puzzling is that I am the same person in both lives, not a reincarnation. I feel wistful and homesick in the dream and I realize that I miss the ancient city and life.