Andy left for London on Friday. I was pretty emotional about it, even though he'll back next Sunday. I'm bored and restless. I spent most of the day making an origami castle and watching _Alfred Hitchcock Presents_.

Yesterday's game was something of a disappointment. Two players simply didn't show up even though they said they were coming. They didn't even call to cancel. Also, one of my players dropped out completely, and even though his reasons are very good ones (and after all, it is his prerogative; I wouldn't force anyone to play in my game if they didn't want to), I still feel rather bummed by the whole situation. I have a lot of fear that my game isn't fun and no one wants to break it to me.

I wish that my concentration was better. With Andy gone, and no job to go to, I should be working on amazing things that I've always wanted to do, but I can't seem to sit still for long unless I'm in front of the TV. I can't even do my normal magickal practice, I just can't seem to get the energy and desire to do it. And writing? This is about the most I can do, just moaning about my "horrible" life.

I'm still not sure what it is that I need.